So yesterday I left off mentioning about my fiancé. I got engaged on May 2nd !!! I have been divorced for 13 years now and only dated a bit as I was too busy raising six kids on my own. My divorce wasn't so nice in the beginning and I have to take responsibility for that ! I was a bit of a bitch through out the marriage and I'm not sure I was ever really in love with him. I was in love with the concept of having the family I never had as a child. I never really achieved that though, did I? I couldn't have because I was so unhappy all the time that I was making everyone else miserable, particularly my ex husband. It really was a bad situation and in the end I finally pushed him away.
After a few months though, we were able to come to an understanding that our kids were the number one priority and we did what was necessary to make them happy. He took them on the weekends, attended all their games, concerts and various functions and was over all a great dad. He had his faults as did I. He never could really deal with our ill children so I had to attend all doctor's appointments, procedures and surgeries alone but I grew used to it. I resented him at first but began to realize he was giving what he was capable of. I had gone back to school and he would come from work and watch the children and feed them and put them to bed. I had to think to myself that I could take what he was capable of giving and be grateful or continue to be resentful but what would that get me? I needed to remember too how many single mothers there were that had no support at all from their children's fathers......I was lucky!
So as the years passed, I realized that he actually was my best friend and a few years ago I began to have the feelings for him that I should have had prior to our first marriage. So here we are now; 25 years after meeting and I am so in love with this man that I can't stand to be away from him! He accepts me for me, flaws and all. He makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. We have the same dreams not only for our children but for ourselves as a couple. We want the best for each other. Yep! My fiancé is my ex-husband and I couldn't be happier! We are looking so forward to wedding number two!!! My children are so happy, my 17 year old cried when I told her. My life coach is thrilled for us and I'm very happy she approves :) It's kind of crazy but you can't help who you love. With everything going on with our older son, it feels so great to have my best friend at my side! He helps as much as he can with our grandson as well. We are exhausted most of the time however! Just to make you laugh.....yesterday was our day off from the grandson and we were planning a little intimacy and low and behold........I fell asleep on him !!!! Hahahaha. I'm not to sure he found it funny but I know he understands!
Well, time to run. The grandson is on his way. More tomorrow. Peace and love.
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